I have now been in Seoul for about 2.5 months and I am loving every single minute of it! I came here originally for work and to escape a lot of personal problems I was having back in my hometown of Calgary, Canada. I got myself into a lot of legal issues, one after another and it seemed like I was in a downwards spiral into nothingness. I came to my lowest low when I got my 2nd vehicle towed due to reckless driving in the downtown area, and driving with a suspended license, and having BOTH my cars in an impound lot under police investigation for criminal activities, and being charged with assault. (Loooong story, that's for another time) but all in all, I decided it was time for me to go, go figure out what the hell was going on? 2011 only started the other day it seemed like and I had already been charged with 3 offenses, 2 vehicles towed, suspended license and a shit ton of legal fee's that unfortunately my parents had to incur the costs of. There was no way I was able to pay anything off without their help. And I kept thinking to myself, how is it that I KEEP getting so belligerent wasted and high that I lose all capability to think and make such horrendous decisions. And why did I come to the realization that I made such mistakes AFTER the fact? You'd think after the first time I got a DUI it would have stopped me, or the second time I got my vehicle towed for having a suspended license it would open my eyes, but to make the same mistake 3 TIMES in a span of one month is pretty ridiculous.
At this point I was at my lowest low, no one but myself could help me. My friends had always been on my side, helped me through it all, but always expressed their concern as to simply WHAT THE HELL was I doing with myself? I managed to completely abandon my last year of accounting, thus forcing me to drop out now, after spending 3 years of my life trying to achieve this goal. Failure seemed to becoming a pattern in my life when I had never even experienced such a feat of low prior.
Like a light at the end of the tunnel my dad offered me the chance of a life time to go to Seoul, South Korea and work as a Junior Accountant for his Oil and Gas companies sector out here in Korea. I took the chance before he could even finish offering it to me. I have never wanted to flee something so much in my life, but I was fleeing from my own life and my own self. My father offered me a 2 year work contract and I signed it immediately.
In all honesty I was not fleeing from any legal problems, so don't worry I am no fugitive, I have indeed cleared my name of all the charges and done my time and paid my debts, literally and metaphorically. But at the end of the day I no longer wanted to be anywhere near anything that reminded me of my previous lifestyle and problems. I cannot even begin to explain to you the things I have done, seen and witnessed in my 22 years of life.
But now, almost 3 months later I have learned so much about myself. 3 months may not be a HUGE amount of time, but it is enough for me to realize how stupid I really was. The amount of hell I put my family, friends and law enforcement through is just ridiculous. There are not enough sorry's I could say to these people for my actions. Yet they still stand beside me.
I have come to the biggest realization of my life, a true in every form epiphany. I am finally me again. I forgot my roots and myself for a minute there. And I have finally I can safely now say found myself. I still enjoy the occasional riot out on the town, and I do enjoy my booze, but it no longer defines me. I remember again what it is I was sent to this world to do, to be a better person. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others, but we can always rise from them. The best part about being at your lowest point in life, is that there is only one way to go now, UP.
I am very happy to come to terms with all my alcohol and drug abuse in my past, I am happy to say that I am a controlled person once again. Not raging and crazy anymore. I am still a little bit nuts, but that is just me. Korea has taught me that no matter where I am, who ever in the world loves you will love you no matter where or what I have done. I never ever meant to hurt anyone ever, my intentions were always good, but unfortunately they were always about myself, I never stopped to think, "hmm this decision might cost me later on" OH AND IT DID.
My parents and I have both come to the conclusion that I am truly adult enough to handle my own. I feel secure in my own skin once again, and I feel that I can finally be in Canada and not be a total mess and destroy my life.
Which is why I have decided to move back to Canada in July. The lucky part about your Papa owning the company you work for it, contracts don't really matter. Ha Ha. I also have decided to cut myself off from my parents, it is time I do so, that is right world I will be supporting myself financially come this July 2011.
WOW that feels so weird to say out loud...errr type out loud? Whatever the case, its gonna be the big ass SHAY SHOW come this July. I will be paying all my own bills, my own rent, my own insurance, gas, FOOD, you name it it will be supported my own cash-ola. *sigh* I can also now safely say, I will 100% be a broke ass nigga when that day comes around. But it's time, I always told myself by 23 I will be a self sufficient person, and I plan to stick to at least ONE goal this year!!
Korea has been good to me, and don't worry this adventure isn't over QUITE yet, but now it everything seems to be bitter sweet, and will be even more enjoyable.
I love you Seoul, you have taught me a lot about myself. My 7 months here will forever be the thing that changed my life. Without you I don't know where I would be right now? Actually I do know where I would be...I'd be in jail.
So...conclusion? Life is finally good, I am finally happy, and it ain't due to all the MDMA I have taken or the 60 of Vodka I chugged, it's because I am truly happy. It ain't the MDMA that got me feeling like a champion no more. Finally.
Thank you world.
But the show must go on!
