SO, its been an a good 2 years...

Yes, that's right, it's been 2 years since my last post, and here I am again, ready for another huge adventure. Again to SE Asia, but this time main adventure will be Thailand...and surrounding countries for another 6 months.

I am excited to say in 27 days exactly from today I will embark on a big journey to the east, by my lonesome self and all my gadgets once again.

I am a fountain of emotions, everything from excitement to being completely morbidly frightened. First time genuinely going anywhere without a definite itinerary, its gonna be me and my suitcases, traveling wherever my heart and wallet can take me in SE Asia.

And this will be the place where I can document all my daily adventures, the ones worth noting obviously. I don't do this blog for anyone but myself, I really love reading through my life and seeing how much i've matured and changed, or maybe just how much I haven't matured and changed haha.

On that note, my next post will come from another continent and an explanation on my fresh new outlook on life!!!

Welcome again friends, I can't wait to start this new chapter. :)

If you don't follow the NHL you're not gonna get this...

Did you here about the court case in Edmonton about the child whose parents beat him? He is I think 7 or 8 The judge said I am going to send you to live with your uncle who also lived in Edmonton. However the child said that his uncle was just as bad as his parents. The judge was surprised and she then said ok I will send you to your grand parents to live with them. However the child said they are the worst by far they beat me just about every time I'm there I don't want to live there. So the judge said your kinda young but I would take into account the people who you would want to live with into my considerations. The young boy thought for a moment said I would like to live with the Edmonton Oilers because they can't beat anybody.

Can't keep my hands out the cookie jar!

I've been wanting to write about my fear of monogamy for many days now. But I feel as if I put way to much negative emphasis on relationships as it is. I also don't want my blog to become just rants and raves about my not so poetic love life. But for some reason, it seems to be the thing that stares at me in the face begging me to ask questions about it. I think monogamy is against human nature, not saying I don't practice monogamy, but by basic instincts it is REALLY hard to monogamous. I don't know if it's just me, or if its the fact that I have this constant buzzing noise in my head telling me to "hurt him before he can hurt you" bullshit going on. Orrr if its the fact that I genuinely have way to BIG of a HEART to just love one person. Am I wrong to think that if I have to put EFFORT into being with just one person, and it anyways in turn isn't making me happy, that I shouldn't do it? Will I end up dying lonely and bitter? I don't know. BUT I will find out.

Sad to say

Sad to say that I have 2 weeks and 4 days left here in this beautiful country of South Korea. I am getting VERY anxious to go home, but now that the time is creeping up so much faster than I wanted it to, I am getting really sad. I mean I've been here for about 5 months, and I have gotten attached to people, places and things already!! I have made some amazing friends, one in particular that is going to always be apart of my heart. Korea in general will hold a huge part of my heart, and will be the main reason for so much of my growth and maturity. I have never been so happy as I have been here. I have never had such a clear head and stress free as I have been here. But, back to reality, I knew it couldn't last forever. But indeed this is exactly what I needed.

Speaking of Dating...

I just finished reading an e-mail one of my really good friends sent me! I thought it was so sweet!! So I am gonna share part of it with the internet. Haha.

"Ok, so I can't take it anymore. She's just too goddam beautiful for YOU!!!

Dear young man who wishes to date Shay,

These are the rules you are to follow

Rule 1: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule 2: always think of this before you do something I might find questionable " her friend Pin is a nutcase with very questionable friends and can most likely stomp me, out run me, cut me into little pieces and have them fed to pigs, and if need be shoot me from 200 meters away with ease"

Rule 3: Keep your hands to yourself, or I'll take them away from you.

Rule 4: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with Shay. Otherwise, once you have gone out with her, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

Rule 5: If she cries, YOU cry.

Rule 6: I'm a trucker......extremely mobile. Even though I am half a world away, dont think I wont be around when you come asking about Shay. If necessary, plane tickets are extremely cheap.

Rule 7: Though you may have already faced down somebody else's hulking friends, I'm the crazy one.

Rule 8: If there is any question about the truth of Rule Seven, I will give you one opportunity to out-shoot me on the range.

Rule 9: Cute nicknames for Shay will not be used unless you are married. Is that clear, Honeybunch?

Rule 10: Your eyes are NOT to wander below chin level on Shay.

Rule 11: If you can't show your long-range projected financial earnings, pass her dad's inspection, keep your room clean, shower regularly, and in all other ways demonstrate why you should be allowed to come within fifty feet of Shay, forget it!

Thank you,
(I will let you choose if you get to call me Pin or Death by your actions) "

Haha, I love him, this was regarding someone who had displayed interest in dating me when I moved back to Calgary and what my friend was gonna say to him when he tried to make a move. Love youuuuu you crazy protective psychotic friends of mine.

Internet Dating, a world I will never understand...

So recently I have gone through a pretty shitty breakup. My loving friends have also brought to my attention that they don't like my single life so much. Ha. I guess I have taken the extreme turn from having a boyfriend for the better part of my adult life, (since I was 13) and have not been single since that age, my extreme turn to YEAH SINGLE LIFE, is apparently alarming to my said friends.

I mean, I am not gonna lie, HOW IS IT THAT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW AMAZING IT WAS TO BE SINGLE ALL THIS TIME?!?! I have genuinely been missing out. I'm not saying that I will never date again, but I am taking a solid break. I'm thinking for the next year or so. Seriously, I am loving casual encounters and not having to worry about someones opinion constantly, and having to live up to someones unreasonable expectations, controlling attitude and psychoanalyzing everything I do. Maaaaaybe it was the kind of guy I dated that turned me off so much. But I think it's fair I give some time to be by myself, and dedicate to me. I think I deserve THAT much, no?

I haven't been single since I was 13 going on 14 people!!! 

With that being said, my friends SIGNED ME UP for a dating site. I won't say which one, but I didn't know they had done so. Until I suddenly got all these random requests on my e-mail. And then I knew what was up.

I wasn't mad, if anything I was kind of offended. That they think I couldn't find a guy is why I was single? Nah bro's, on the contrary, I am CHOOSING to be single. I have yet to find someone that is worthy of my time, I just don't see the point in wasting my time with guys I know I see no future with. I'll just sleep around and get my fill for the time being. LOL.

Jokes aside, what's with some of the guys on dating sites? Like why the need to send such disgusting repulsive messages to women? And my big question is DOES IT ACTUALLY WORK!? DO people actually respond to such vulgar comments made to them? And like do men get messages from women? I know if my life depended on it I wouldn't send someone a message on the site I am on, due to the simple fact that my EGO is way to big for that. I have yet to reply to a single person either, if anything it is amazing entertainment during work. I'm definitely not trying to be snotty, the whole reason my friends signed me up was due to the fact that they think CLEARLY the men I am currently meeting are not working out for me and they think I need to broaden my horizons. I can see their point, but does the internet REALLY bring out the best men?

Me not replying to anyone on this site has nothing to do with my ego being to big, none of these men have said anything of value or anything that would make me attracted to them. Saying shit like "HEY BABY UR SO YUMMY" is not making me want to reply to you and thus meet you in real life.

Which brings me to my next point...meeting somoene off the internet. I have met one person off the internet, very randomly once. And I don't even know if this is considered meeting someone off the internet as so much as I used to post on a local website catered to my home city, and someone in the forum I used to post recognized me one night at a bar. It was weird to say the least, cause I did not recognize them one bit.

I don't know if I could meet someone like that intentionally though, I am such a pussy. I am scared of people killing me at all times. I mean but in reality whats the big difference than when I go out with a guy I have only met once? I know him the same amount as I know whoever I have been talking to on said dating site technically right? But that's the thing the whole awkward "what's he really gonna look like" part never arises in meeting UP with someone. Even if you met said person when you were heavily intoxicated...sometimes turns out the same way too!!

I don't know, I guess the whole online dating thing will take some time to get used to if I ever get used to it even. I mean I have some girlfriends that have met AMAZING guys off this site, and their current boyfriends. But my lack of trying, effort, and not wanting a boyfriend, combined with the intense amount of ugly, creepy, old, pig like men messaging me might be a deathly awkward fucking WEIRD scenario.

Well, I guess I will find out.

Am I total bitch?

I have been called many things in my life, funny names, names of endearment, insults, racist names, you name it and I've been called it. The one I get a lot is "bitch" though, both in a "You are such a bitch, I love it!" and in a "You're such a bitchy cunt" kind of way. I never really thought about it till my Mother brought it up to me the other day over a phone conversation...that maybe I am a total bitch. I don't take anything seriously until my MOTHER says it to me for some reason.

I am one of those people that hate talking to random strangers, I am not even going to pretend I give a hoot about your day just because you're sitting beside my on the subway. I do not care what your travel plans are, how many kids you have, where you are from, why you're going wherever you're going and don't think the 15 hour plane right sitting beside each other we have is gonna change my mind. I just don't see the the use in useless banter with someone that will lead to nothing. I'd rather be left alone and listen to my music and read my books. 

I AM that girl when I go on trips with my friends to resorts in Cancun, Cuba, Dom Rep, Costa Rica that does the LEAST socializing with other tourists and I do not enjoy random groups of guys coming up to us in the pool to "see what our plans for the evening are". I am here on a vacation, not there to make fuckin friends, as you can see *points to group of friends* I already have some great ones.

I tend to be a very likable person though, I get along with people at work, I've always been really popular amongst people and I am definitely the loud obnoxious life of the party. I have countless groups of friends, so I don't consider myself to be anti social if anything I am the opposite, most of my relationships with men have failed due to ugh lets just say how OUTGOING I can be.

BUT when it comes to everyday life, I just don't like making the time to talk to people, I hate when I am at the airport with my friends or family and other people try and talk to us, and everyone says I am "such a bitch" for blatantly ignoring the conversation my friends or family are having with these random strangers. Or eating lunch by myself during work and people from other departments have to talk to me about their weekends, like does this look like a face that cares?? I mean, people in general like me I tend to notice, I don't know WHY, but it just happens. ALSO, I am NOT trying to sound concieted AT ALL, I am just saying that because I don't want people to think "well you're a bitch and thats why you have no friends and no one likes you", nah totally the opposite, it seems people wanna annoy me with their useless banter EVEN MORE because they think I am a "bitch" which I do not think I am. 

It's not like I am RUDE, or MEAN to people on an everday basis, when someone does talk to me I'll answer whatever they ask, and reply to whatever they said, I won't just flat out ignore someone, but I do try my damned hardest too.

I REALLY value silence.

Does this qualify me to be a bitch? Is that not normal? Is there anyone else out there that does this? Or am I just a total bitch? I always figured since I had a lot of friends, good ones at that, and was in general nice to people, I passed the "not a bitch test"...due to recent events I guess I was wrong. 

One Night in Bangkok

One night in Bangkok and the worlds your oyster.

"Thanks to Hangover 2 for reminding me of this GEM"- Tyler Cloherty...and thank you Tyler for reminding me of this fuckin classic !!!!